Menopause – what a complicated stage of life. I have spent the last couple of years doing everything I can to learn about it in order to make life a little bit easier :).

In no way, shape, or form am I an expert on this subject however I have come across some great resources in the last year or so that I know would be helpful to share :).

Being 54, I imagine my perimenopausal journey started about six or seven years ago without my even realizing it. Yes, I was that clueless.

I knew I was extra edgy and sometimes possibly, maybe even mean ;0 but because I was still getting a monthly period, I did not think it was menopause yet.

I remember once when my mom was visiting me back in 2019, her saying to me after a particularly memorable “cranky” episode ‘do not discount menopausal symptoms Pasha’ 😂.

So here I am writing this post from my heart, sharing my own experiences with perimenopause, menopause, and now post-menopause.

And links to all the books, websites, podcasts, etc. I have found helpful in my own journey.

Did you know btw that menopause is ONE DAY in your life??

According to scientists (not me!), the term menopause means the day it has been 12 months since your last period.

Everything after that day is considered post-menopause…who knew???

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In a rush?

My Own Experience

Body Changes

Since I had my last period in January 2022, I have gained around 20 pounds and I don’t even know how many inches around my middle.

While I would love to say that what the scale says lately does not bother me – it does.

I am trying REALLY REALLY HARD to focus more on being strong rather than being skinny but training your brain to do so is easier said than done.

My generation and my role models of the generation before me were raised thinking skinny is better and that having muscles is not womanly.

I hired a personal trainer in July 2022 at first for the sole goal of losing weight.

But after working with him for a little over a year and not really noticing a difference on the scale, I had a shift in my mindset regarding my changed body and what my goals are with strength training.

Which is: it is MUCH BETTER to be able to lift your grandchildren up (no I do not have any yet fyi 😂) or catch myself when I inevitably fall rather than to fit into a size 6 pair of pants.

So while it is going to take a very long time to adjust to the fact that my ‘skinny’ days are gone – I am happy that STRONG Pasha is very likely here to stay :).

Lesson learned here: if you haven’t started strength training (ie weight lifting) yet – it’s time to start!! You will feel better in your own skin – even if the scale never again says the same thing it did in your 40’s ;).

You can find the links to all of the above items in my Amazon health store here.

I also take this bloat supplement and this metabolism supplement twice daily – once in the morning and once before bed :).

(you can find the swimsuit I am wearing above here)

Brain Fog

True story:

I was sitting at a dinner party with my girlfriends a few years ago with my plate of delicious food in front of me but no utensils.

I looked at my girlfriend next to me and said ‘oh, I need a a a a… you know the thing you use with food that has little prongs on it’ 😳.

A fork.

I needed a fork.

But for the life of me COULD NOT REMEMBER what it was called!!

That my friends – is what they call menopause brain fog.

AND IT IS REAL.

And honestly – I am not 100% sure if it ever goes away… and I have no solution for how to improve it.

But I guess – just know you are not alone ;0.

my book club talks about menopause A LOT!! and yes – one of these ladies was the one I asked for a fork from ;0.

Irritability and Mood Swings

I touched on this above with my quick admission to being somewhat mean but delving more into this – I can remember specific times where I could literally FEEL my mood shift to irritable for absolutely no reason.

Now of course, if my husband was nearby and doing anything at all – I took the easy way out and blamed him (and never fessed up to knowing something shifted in my head at that moment).

Luckily, I have a damn good husband (who is also a medical doctor) who decided to do a little bit of googling about my new perimenopausal symptoms (and wisely did not tell me he did this!).

And he learned he better just have a s*#t ton of patience with his wife if he wanted his marriage to stay intact during this life changing body adjustment of hers.

Good advice I must say ;).

Hot Flashes and Night Sweats

No doubt you have heard of hot flashes.

Or are having them yourself.

Or know someone that does.

Luckily for me, I have never had a hot flash so severe that I need to run outside and bury myself in a pile of snow.

But I can tell you this much – I used to be that girl that would wear her winter coat inside (yes in San Diego!).

I was always always always cold.

Like since I was a little girl always cold.

Until I wasn’t a few years ago.

Perimenopause? I would say so!

I sleep with a tank top and shorts in the middle of winter nowadays.

And for a few years, would wake up in the middle of the night dripping wet in sweat.

I started hormone replacement therapy in August 2024 and can truthfully say – my (not severe) hot flashes have drastically decreased…

But I still run warmer than I did up until my late 40’s.

And now love traveling to colder climates over hot climates 😂.

Trouble Sleeping

While the above mentioned hot flashes in the middle of the night definitely do not help anyone get a good night’s sleep, I don’t have a single friend in menopause that says they sleep amazingly every night.

Since I just started hormone replacement therapy a little over a month ago (August 2024), I am just starting to see improvements in my sleep.

My doctor has me taking progesterone with my HRT which I have been told helps with sleep.

But I still take CBD gummies, magnesium (my doctor husband says this type is the most doctor recommended form of magnesium fyi), turmeric, and cherry juice every night too!

Acne and Skin Changes

AT 52???

I have never had to deal with acne.

In fact I was a dry skin – eczema kid for many many years!

So when I had chronic acne show up on my chin for months on end – I was stumped.

And eventually went to the dermatologist and said – what is this?!

She explained that the chin is what dermatologists call the “beard zone”. So when your hormones are out of wack (including your testosterone levels) – of course your ‘beard zone’ will be acting up ;0.

I was given a prescription for tretinoin (if you don’t have a dermatologist – check out My Alloy below for more information about getting menopausal prescriptions online).

I have also recently found the Musely website and am waiting for this prescription strength anti-aging cream with tretinoin to arrive in the mail!

And as far as skin changes go? Well let’s just say – I use this lotion and this body oil religiously to keep some form of elasticity in my arms and legs ;(.

Vertigo & Migraines

Honestly, I have been getting migraines my whole life so I can’t really say menopause is to blame for that condition HOWEVER I have been hearing on multiple podcasts recently that hormone changes can very much so cause headaches.

Which I guess I kinda knew because back in the days when I was taking birth control pills, I would get such bad headaches ;(.

But now my curiosity has been peaked…

I started botox for migraines with a neurologist about 3 years ago now with some improvement on severity and frequency but they haven’t disappeared forever unfortunately…

yes – it hurts ;0

And as far as vertigo and menopause go – wow – now this is something I just heard about on another podcast!!!

Since I have started HRT, I am really really hoping the chronic vertigo I have been dealing with since 2017 will subside… verdict is out on that one.

We have a local vertigo specialist that I saw back in June of this year (2024) who has a vertigo chair in which I sat in twice in hopes of getting rid of my vertigo – but it sadly didn’t really work on me ;(.

Dry Vagina and Lower Libido

Wow – now I am really getting personal!!

I almost didn’t add this to the list of menopause experiences out of embarassment but then I realized – isn’t that the whole problem with not knowing what to expect in menopause??

No one used to talk about it at all!!!

And now – you can’t get most people my age to stop talking about it – lol.

I noticed a change in my vaginal lubrication a few years ago – when my periods started not being regular.

Then about 18 months after my last period, I noticed a DRASTIC change in my dryness ‘down there’.

And I have read in multiple sources, whatever you do – do not stop having sex when you start experiencing this as that can lead to vaginal atrophy and severe pain from this dryness (read more about that problem here).

I have found Lola personal lubricant or Goop Wellness Sex Oil help with this situation for myself.

And as far as libido goes – my husband and I seem to be doing okay in that department as far as matching up our needs and satisfaction ;).

However, I found this O-mazing vaginal cream from My Alloy to be super helpful in keeping it going :).

My Alloy also has a vaginal cream for severe dryness if that is a problem you have.

Books, Podcasts, and Websites I Have Found Helpful

Mary Claire Haver

I may or may not have an obsession with Dr Mary Claire Haver.

But I am not alone – 1.9 MILLION people also love her on Instagram ;0.

Here is the link to her fantastic menopause blog (you can also sign up for her community here) where I find an incredible amount of helpful information.

Since finding her on Instagram at the beginning of this year, I have been taking her suggested supplements of collagen, creatine, turmeric, and Omega 3.

I have also listened to her audio book as well as many podcasts she has been a guest on.

Here is a list of my favorite podcasts she has been a guest speaker on:

• The Mel Robbins Podcast (my absolute favorite!!)
• Huberman Lab (quite scientific but a very good listen)
• The Holderness Family Podcast (always a good one to listen to)
• The Marie Forleo Podcast (another of my all time favorites)
• Lewis Howes’ School of Greatness (and yet another of my favorite podcasts to listen to)

My Alloy

As I mentioned above when writing about my acne and vaginal dryness, the My Alloy website is a game changer!

I get prescription M4 Face Cream from My Alloy but you can also get the tretinoin cream I use on my face from this website ;).

I would HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest getting on the My Alloy email list but also just checking out their website – there really is so much valuable information and resources available there!

The Menopause Manifesto

Another book that I have found helpful in learning about perimenopause through post-menopause is The Menopause Manifesto.

When it comes to menopause books, I have preferred listening to the audio books vs reading a paper book.

However I have noticed I miss a fair amount of details when listening.

This book can be fairly technical with a lot of information, but hopefully you will catch a few helpful tips from it. I especially appreciated the nutrition chapters ;).

Okay then – I think that about covers all my thoughts on menopause and what I’ve learned.

Although – seems I am learning new things daily about this new stage of life so maybe this blog post is a work in progress with additions any time I learn something new!

Please note – I am not a medical professional! This blog post is strictly meant as a ‘you are not alone’ from the heart article.

And of course – I needed a place to put all the links to so many different things I have learned or used already in my own journey in hopes you find them helpful as well :).

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Be kind whenever possible.

It is always possible.

– Dalai Lama

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Have a wonderful day my friend! I hope something makes you smile today ;).